Dan Lorenzo: I'm a big fan of comedy and great comedians, but I want to thank you for turning me on to the comedian, Anthony Jeselnik. Even though you're a self-described "softy", you like his hardcore humor?
Carolyn Elaine: In most cases, I'd find any scenario relating to an unfortunate event that includes any child horrific. Mr. Jeselnik somehow makes it....OK to laugh at... because it's so raw and gritty and shocking that laughter is probably the best way to survive some, if not most, of the jokes that flood his stand ups.
The other day you told me not to feel bad that you're going through a divorce. Can I feel bad for your children?
No! Do not feel bad for my children, for they are not suffering. My ex and I did our best to smooth this out quietly without a mess. We did it for them. They are loved the same, if not more, after all's said and done.
You told me you're a "Natural Born Jew". Can I make you feel guilty for eating bacon?
[laughs] I don't think you can make anyone feel guilty for eating bacon... unless you showed me a picture of the pig, while it was alive wearing a tu-tu... and it had a name. That pretty much goes for any animal I consume. Reality can be quite unpleasant I have learned.
You're from Chicago. Are you upset my New York Knicks got Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah from your Bulls?
Derrick Rose? Who's that? Did he play for the Bulls? [laughs] In all honesty, Rose was like buying a 16-year-old a Ferrari... for those who know will understand. But I ain't that big of a sports fan, so my opinion won't really matter to the masses. I'm one of those who will jump on the bandwagon when our teams are headed to the playoffs/championships - which is usually every single one...
I haven't watched Saturday Night Live in a few years. Is it still worth watching?
SNL is my jam! They are slaying it with the presidential election just fueling their fire... Ugh... Maybe they will see this and pity me with a couple free tickets to the show....Ya think I got a chance?
Yeah. Have Spike contact NBC on your behalf. How psyched were you when you got the call that you would appear on this season's Ink Master?
No doubt really. I mean, when Matt, one of Ink Master's producers, called me and said, "Congratulations on becoming one of the competitors for this Season 8 of Ink Master", [it] sounded like I won a prize on a game show. Matt can make anything sound really good, but in this case it goes without saying. I almost fell over while trying to get my pants on! But to be honest? When I was ready to hop on the plane to fly to the east coast, I almost threw my ticket in the trash at the gate and turned around to go home. I think I was more afraid of regretting not doing it than doing it. It's a big mind fuck. Everyday there was a whiplash of both excitement and distortion of reality that you're being filmed, mic'd, babysat, etc...
Do you think you'll follow the path set by Marisa and Megan Jean, and hook up with one of your cast-mates?
Who did Marisa hook up with? [laughs] What is this, a tween glamour girl column, Dan? Adults hook up with adults... it just happens. You find yourself in an unfamiliar setting and when that person is a member of your desired sex you're at least the slightest attracted to, shit happens. No one wants to sleep alone. This season I can say I bonded with just about everyone I interacted with. Will I hook up with any of them is hardly a question to be answered.... Could it happen? I suppose. Nothing is impossible. Being in a tight enclosed setting with a bunch of tattooed egos and a lot of alcohol...everything is possible. What about the production crew? The judges? The canvases? I've heard some great stories..... Probably fake. Probably.
Between you, Marie Makowski, and my wife, you curse the most! Why do today's women curse as much as men?
Do I really?
I didn't think I was that bad... I am sweet about it, I hope - it depends where I am at. I try to be respectful and mindful of those around me.
What inks do you like to use?
I use a wide range of inks. Fusion, Eternal, Dynamic, World Famous... I'm kind of an ink hoarder. I'm not sponsored by any company personally, so I'm free to use whatever I want and say so at the same time.
Has any customer ever asked you what ink you're about to tattoo them with?
I have been asked if I can use an animal bi-product free, all organic, vegan ink. On multiple occasions. Seriously.... I don't have much to say to that request.
Your shop orders from Painful Pleasures, right?
Did you ever try the Recovery tattoo salve I gave you?
My clients have... , but I haven't heard back from them yet.
What machine is your favorite?
Dan Kubin Direct V3. Aaamazing. I have tried and gone through so many machines. So many! But I am in love with this one! I have to thank [Season 8 cast member] Sketchy Lawyer for helping me out when my machines "went missing" on the show, and the only working one and "free" one I got from the show broke down, and I was in a bind.
Ink Master airs on Tuesdays at 10 PM EST. Catch Carolyn Elaine on tonight's episode. For more on Carolyn, see @carolyn_elaine_tattoo